5 minutes of chaos

We have periods of time in our home that are complete chaos and mayhem.  These usually occur right before another event such as dinner, bedtime, getting in the car, etc.  Granted, there's plenty of chaos around our house on a regular basis, but these time periods are like the buildup of a storm where the yelling, noise, fighting, etc. just seem to spiral out of control. 

I've come to mostly expect and accept this.  Knowing that it only lasts 5 minutes or so helps me to keep under control myself.  I can tell myself "You can handle 5 minutes of this.  It will stop." I wish I could attach a video that shows what it looks and sounds like around my house at these times but I'm fairly occupied at those times trying to keep the chaos from turning into a total meltdown.  If you try to call my house or stop by 5 minutes for a meal, you're sure to see it for yourself.

Breaking Point

Do you ever reach your breaking point with your children?  Actually, a more appropriate question would be: how often do you reach it?  I remember being single and seeing a parent yell at their child in the grocery store and thinking, "How can they do that? The kid looks like he's maybe only 3 years old". That, of course, was before I had my own children. 

I remember reaching my breaking point with my first child when she was just a baby and thinking there was something horribly wrong with me that I could feel so angry at a baby who didn't know any better than to continually scream.  I've learned that there's nothing wrong with me - I'm just a normal tired parent. 

I guess the key is to learn to recognize when you're reaching your breaking point before you get there and learn what helps you to not step over that line of feeling vs. acting.  I've learned to say to my husband, "I can not go into the kids' room anymore right now or I'm going to start yelling and throwing things." Then I can just lay down on the bed with the door closed, trying to shut out the crying while I cry and pray and cry and pray some more.  I understand why parents can sometimes do the horrible things they do.  If you have enough stress, tiredness and pressure, and no support system to help you out, I can see how a parent can cross that line.  I consider myself extremely blessed to have a great husband and a great support system to help me out.  I'm also thankful to know I am not alone in having those moments.  I've talked to a mom who was on the phone while shut in her closet. I guess we all need our own "safe" place to go when we're reaching our limit.

(By the way, don't worry - I'm not at a breaking point right now.  If I was, there's no way I'd have the clarity of mind to sit and blog about it.)

Apparently my mom wasn't exaggerating

My mom used to tell stories about taking all 6 kids to church when my dad was in the bishopric.  She used to say sometimes she never even made it into the chapel.  I had in my mind that she was exaggerating or embellishing the story, as we're so good at doing in my family.  That is, until it happened to me this past Sunday.  Apparently she wasn't exaggerating. 

I walked into the lobby, and my 2 year old started screaming (not just crying).  I thought the tantrum had completed after we got out of the car.  I immediately walked to the back steps outside again, and sat with him for a while.  My 4 year old really wanted to go to church, so I just sent her ahead into the chapel by herself, thinking maybe we could join her in a few minutes.  I guess she went right up to the first row and sat down by herself until her Dad came down and brought her up to the stand to sit with him.  The 2 year old finally stopped screaming and we were able to sit in a chair in the lobby, but he was on the edge of breaking down again when I would try to get up and go into the chapel.  So, I sat in the armchair for all of church with a 2 year old and a 1 year old on my lap.  I never made it into the chapel.  Just one of those times when you're not upset; you are more amazed at what is happening and thinking "I never thought this would happen to me." Thanks for enduring, Mom!