Monday, January 17, 2011

Breaking Point

Do you ever reach your breaking point with your children?  Actually, a more appropriate question would be: how often do you reach it?  I remember being single and seeing a parent yell at their child in the grocery store and thinking, "How can they do that? The kid looks like he's maybe only 3 years old". That, of course, was before I had my own children. 

I remember reaching my breaking point with my first child when she was just a baby and thinking there was something horribly wrong with me that I could feel so angry at a baby who didn't know any better than to continually scream.  I've learned that there's nothing wrong with me - I'm just a normal tired parent. 

I guess the key is to learn to recognize when you're reaching your breaking point before you get there and learn what helps you to not step over that line of feeling vs. acting.  I've learned to say to my husband, "I can not go into the kids' room anymore right now or I'm going to start yelling and throwing things." Then I can just lay down on the bed with the door closed, trying to shut out the crying while I cry and pray and cry and pray some more.  I understand why parents can sometimes do the horrible things they do.  If you have enough stress, tiredness and pressure, and no support system to help you out, I can see how a parent can cross that line.  I consider myself extremely blessed to have a great husband and a great support system to help me out.  I'm also thankful to know I am not alone in having those moments.  I've talked to a mom who was on the phone while shut in her closet. I guess we all need our own "safe" place to go when we're reaching our limit.

(By the way, don't worry - I'm not at a breaking point right now.  If I was, there's no way I'd have the clarity of mind to sit and blog about it.)