Wednesday, December 18, 2013

What kind of husband does that?

My husband is with another woman right now.  Actually, he left work early today to spend time with her and is spending several days at her place.  He even cooked dinner for her tonight.  Actually, I'm quite pleased with this fact.  But, what kind of husband and father does that? He left the state and left me with 5 kids to take care of the week before Christmas.  I'm pretty sure he bought some things for her as well. Again, what kind of husband does that?

I'm thinking he's not going to be doing much sleeping tonight.  Of course, that may have something to do with the new baby in the other room.  And his willingness to get up in the middle of the night and help feed the baby if needed.  And change poopy diapers. And swaddle and rock a baby.  What kind of husband does that? For a child that is not his?

He's visiting his sister right now and helping out with her new baby.  It made more sense for him to be there as there are 5 kids here that need taking care of, and his work is flexible enough that he can work away from the office.  His sisters and mom and dad have been taking turns helping out, and he's taking his turn.  I believe his brother is taking a turn in a few weeks.  Again, what kind of husband does that? Just when I think I couldn't love him more, he does something like this to remind me what a good deal I got in marrying such a good man.

Thursday, December 5, 2013

Becoming a responsible adult

I clearly remember the feeling of responsibility I had when I bought my first car.  I signed all the documents and they then gave me the keys and I drove off.  It seemed a little unreal to me that they were going to let me just take the car.  I kept wondering if they were going to make me bring it back. I was so used to at least reporting back to my parents that I was taking the car somewhere, it seemed strange that it was all mine.

I had the same reaction when I bought my house.  The numbers involved were much larger, but really I just signed some papers, they gave me a key, and it was mine.  No worrying about a landlord or reporting back to anyone.  The bank really seemed to think I was a responsible adult and that I was old enough to take care of a house by myself.

I remember having a similar feeling when I had my first child.  Granted, I had spent 9 months carrying her around with me and "taking care" of her.  But, when they checked me out of the hospital, I just took her with me and went home.  No nurses at the house, no "adult" checking up on me to make sure I was doing everything right.  I was supposed to be a responsible adult, and care for this little child. It was more than a little bit overwhelming.  You'd think at 34 I was old enough to consider myself responsible, but I'm not sure anything can prepare you for that type of responsibility.

As I think about it, though, I don't "own" this child in the same sense that I "owned" my car or my house.  She's on loan to me.  She's God's child.  I'm not really left alone with her.  If something with her needs "repairing", I can always go to Him for help.  He feels the responsibility I feel for taking care of her.  He for some reason considers me a responsible adult capable of taking care of His child on a very long term basis.  Knowing this makes me feel the responsibility even more, and at the same time comforts me in knowing I'm not alone in caring for a child.