Panic attack

I just read this article by Jason Wright in the Deseret News yesterday and I had to nod my head in agreement. I had heard people talk about having anxiety issues or panic attacks, and I kind of had the same attitude of "just get over it and be brave". That is, until I had my first panic episode.  Apparently, it's not uncommon to have panic attacks when you're pregnant.  I didn't know that.  It had never happened to me until I was pregnant with child number 5.  I just assumed they were talking about the stress you feel in having a baby and how that kind of freaks you out. I didn't realize it meant, in my case, flying on an airplane when 5 months pregnant and feeling claustrophobic to the point that you felt like you couldn't breathe and had to get out. Needless to say, you can't really do that at 30,000 feet.

My apologies to anyone who has had anxiety attacks before and had someone like me who just smiled and nodded without really appreciating what that means.  I spent most of a 4 hour flight standing in the back aisle of an airplane. The thought of sitting in that little space between two people was more than I could stomach.  Literally.  I had another panic attack shortly after the baby was born.  This one happened at home late at night, but it was so bad that I really felt like I couldn't breathe.  I couldn't make the air go into my lungs and I thought I was going to die.  It was very real. It was not just a "Boy, I'm feeling a little overwhelmed at the moment." Happy to say I haven't had to deal with it since then.  But to all of you who deal with this or have family members who deal with it on a regular basis, you have my complete sympathy. Wish I could do more to help. Maybe understanding is enough for now.

Counting kids

I find myself constantly counting kids these days.  And it's not just to make sure all of them are there.  Really, it's more to make sure the correct number of kids are there at the right time.

Going to church: 5 kids all here?
Picking up from kindergarten: 5 kids - 1 still in school + 2 extra ones to take home = 4 kids
Taking to preschool: 5 kids - 2 at school = 3 kids
Picking up from preschool: 5 kids - 2 at school - 1 at preschool = 2 kids
Coming home from mommy mingle at the park: 5 kids - 1 at school = 4 kids

It's no wonder I get confused sometimes. During the summer, it's easy to always do a roll call in the car and have 5. We do almost everything together.  School has started, and I'm pretty sure it's only a matter of time before I forget a child. Or two.  I used to think counting kids was just a sign that maybe you should have another child (which is a post for another day). Now I realize it's a matter of making sure you have the right kids.

Caught in a lie

We've been a having a little honesty problem around our house lately.  Nothing big.  Just little white lies.
"Go brush your teeth."
"I did."
I feel the toothbrush, and it's completely dry.  No teeth have been brushed.
Well, the other day, we have actual video/camera evidence of a lie. It was a little embarrassing for the kids.
I was out running/going to the grocery store early on a Saturday morning.  Dad slept in a little, which means the kids were left to their own devices. When I came home, the 7 and 5 year old promptly tell me that the 4 year old has been eating candy.
"She stole some candy!"
"What?"
"She stole some candy and was eating it downstairs!"
"What candy?"
"Dad's candy bars. [For his lunches]. She had a Crunch bar. And a 100 Grand."
"Where are the wrappers?"
"They're downstairs."
Meanwhile, the 4 year old is protesting, "I did not! They ate some too!"
While the 5 and 7 year old are strongly denying eating any.
It sounds so neat when you write it down like that, but really, it involves 3 children yelling, accusing, and denying simultaneously.  I wish I could have taped the chaos to truly describe it. They bring up wrappers for 2 Crunch bars, a half eaten Crunch bar, a partially eaten 100 Grand, an open bag of peanut M&Ms and a bag of chocolate covered caramels. Needless to say, the treats have now been hidden and the 4 year old doesn't get any treats for the rest of the week.

Later that day, we found the camera hidden under the bed in our room.  The 7 year old just recently learned that she can take pictures and video by herself. Here's what we found in reviewing the tape:

By the way, this is the 5 year old, not the 4 year old.  One who vehemently denied eating any of the candy and blamed it on his 4 year old sister.  Obviously, the thought that Mom and Dad may actually look at the pictures never entered his mind.  It's actually a great shot taken by the 7 year old.

And there's more. Like I said, the 7 year old also learned how to take videos on the camera. Kind of.

Needless to say, I don't think there will be so much playing with the camera.  Certainly not when kids are doing something they shouldn't. As for the lying, I'm not sure this will stop that.