I've been having a dilemma the past week or so. My baby is due tomorrow. I've spent most evenings the past week or so debating on how to spend my time. Do I work or do I rest? On one hand, I tell myself that I should sit and read and relax and enjoy the time I have before a new baby comes and fills in every gap of extra time I had. On the other hand, I tell myself that I should get as much work done as possible before the new baby comes and fills in every gap of work time I had. I confess that work has usually won. One more night left of debating this. Do I work or do I relax?
Preregistered at hospital for delivery - check
New car seats on order - check
New bunk beds setup - check
One package of newborn diapers - check
One can or infant formula - check
Baby car seat and pack & play accessible - check
Box of newborn clothes pulled out of storage - check
Almost done paying the OB/Gyn - check
Ready for baby to come in less than 3 weeks - no way.
With all of those items checked off, you'd think I was ready for baby #5 to join our family. I'm not. It's not that I don't want this baby to join us, I'm just not quite emotionally prepared yet. I live most of my 9-1/2 months of pregnancy in denial and paranoia. I've known far too many friends and family members who have miscarried or had stillborns, that until I hear that baby cry for the first time, I live in a bit of paranoia about what could go wrong. Maybe I'm missing out on some of the "joy" of pregnancy, but that is my reality. I'm just now reaching the physically uncomfortable stage where you're willing to go through labor & delivery to get past that. Here's to hoping the next 3 weeks bring me less stress and more emotional preparedness and excitement!