I just read this article by Jason Wright in the Deseret News yesterday and I had to nod my head in agreement. I had heard people talk about having anxiety issues or panic attacks, and I kind of had the same attitude of "just get over it and be brave". That is, until I had my first panic episode. Apparently, it's not uncommon to have panic attacks when you're pregnant. I didn't know that. It had never happened to me until I was pregnant with child number 5. I just assumed they were talking about the stress you feel in having a baby and how that kind of freaks you out. I didn't realize it meant, in my case, flying on an airplane when 5 months pregnant and feeling claustrophobic to the point that you felt like you couldn't breathe and had to get out. Needless to say, you can't really do that at 30,000 feet.
My apologies to anyone who has had anxiety attacks before and had someone like me who just smiled and nodded without really appreciating what that means. I spent most of a 4 hour flight standing in the back aisle of an airplane. The thought of sitting in that little space between two people was more than I could stomach. Literally. I had another panic attack shortly after the baby was born. This one happened at home late at night, but it was so bad that I really felt like I couldn't breathe. I couldn't make the air go into my lungs and I thought I was going to die. It was very real. It was not just a "Boy, I'm feeling a little overwhelmed at the moment." Happy to say I haven't had to deal with it since then. But to all of you who deal with this or have family members who deal with it on a regular basis, you have my complete sympathy. Wish I could do more to help. Maybe understanding is enough for now.
Running Hills (Part Four)
1 week ago