First time fears

I did it. I ventured out with 5 kids in tow. This was not an easy feat. I had visions of my kids running wild through the store while the baby screamed & I had a meltdown. Sometimes the fear of trying something new is worse than the thing itself. But, I had to attempt it sometime. Thank goodness for these giant carts at Target. Everyone fit, and I even fit a few items in the cart as well.  I got some odd looks, and even maintained my sense of humor as the kids chanted/sang through half the store and while checking out. First time is always the hardest. I'm not going to say I "enjoyed" it, but at least I know I can do it.

Confidence in motherhoood

I have confidence in motherhood.  I don't remember when I arrived at this point, but I know it wasn't when I had my first baby.  I think that may have been one of the many reasons why I had such a hard time when I had my first child.  My confidence was shattered.  I was humbled.  I was so used to knowing what to do and how to do it, and it was extremely difficult to admit that in many ways I had no idea how to be a mom and take care of my new baby. 

I've probably mentioned this before, but some of the best parenting advice I ever received was from one of my sisters, who had 5 children already when I had my first.  She told me, "Trust your instincts.  You're the mom. You will know what's best for your child."  I had read too many books from "experts" and wanted them to tell me exactly what to do for my child.  I had to come to a point where I realized I could receive inspiration for my specific child, and that maybe my instincts would not agree with what a parenting book told me.

I look at new moms and see their fumbling with their babies and I can relate and also know that I have finally passed that stage. Every parent is different.  And every child is different.  It's wonderful to get to a point where you feel like you know how to care for your child specifically.  Not that there aren't those many moments of "I have no idea how to deal with this child." But there is a confidence that comes in knowing that you love your child and can care for them adequately. Let them bring on all their problems.  I'll do better than my best.  I have confidence in me.