Together as Women

It takes a lot to get me to blog again, but here goes.

I've been thinking a lot the past week or so about the scripture in 1 Corinthians 12, specifically verses 14-27:

"For the body is not one member, but many. If the foot shall say, Because I am not the hand, I am not of the body; is it therefore not of the body? And if the ear shall say, Because I am not the eye, I am not of the body; is it therefore not of the body? If the whole body were an eye, where were the hearing? If the whole were hearing, where were the smelling? But now hath God set the members every one of them in the body, as it hath pleased him. And if they were all one member, where were the body? But now are they many members, yet but one body. And the eye cannot say unto the hand, I have no need of thee: nor again the head to the feet, I have no need of you. Nay, much more those members of the body, which seem to be more feeble, are necessary: And those members of the body, which we think to be less honourable, upon these we bestow more abundant honour; and our uncomely parts have more abundant comeliness. For our comely parts have no need: but God hath tempered the body together, having given more abundant honour to that part which lacked: That there should be no schism in the body; but that the members should have the same care one for another. And whether one member suffer, all the members suffer with it; or one member be honoured, all the members rejoice with it. Now ye are the body of Christ, and members in particular."

I am blessed to know some incredible women in my life. I am also blessed to know how very different these women are from each other. And yet, they all have one thing in common. They each want to make the world a better place. They just all go about it in a different way.

I know women who marched last week for women's rights. I know women who have setup nonprofits to give children opportunities for service. I know women who are heavily involved in their neighborhood organizations and making sure the schools, traffic, construction, etc. are setup in the right way to keep their families and homes safe. I know women who tutor children. I know women who care for other women's children to give single moms a break. I know women who reach out to my children to care for them and be examples to them. I know women who help spread the joy of the arts in their communities. I know women who do their best to teach and raise their children to be good people.

It makes me sad to hear some women say, metaphorically, "Because you do not serve as I do to make the world a better place, you are not part of the body". We all have the same goal to help improve the world. We are all of the same body of women. Let there "no schism in the body" but let us "have the same care one for another".

Cheerleader/Coach Parenting

I had one of those "out of body" experiences the other day.  And no, it had nothing to do with dying and seeing a bright light.  I saw myself being "that" mom.  The mom running up and down the sidelines at a sporting event, completely oblivious to everyone else.

My children have never played organized sports before.  My 8 year old, though, decided this year that she wanted to sign up for the Orem Track Club.  Random.  They each get to choose one activity each year, and that's what she chose. (After finding out the archery class was filled up).

We went to her first track meet, not really having any idea what to expect.  She is not a fast runner, so she came in last in most of her events, but she still finished with a smile each time.  Isn't that part of the reason we do these things, to enjoy ourselves, not just to win?

Anyway, we had some discussions about maybe trying some of the longer distances, even though they were for the older kids.  She does not come from a family history of sprinters. :) We decided the 800m (about 1/2 mile) might be better for her.  So, we mapped out how far that was around our neighborhood so she could practice.  She ran the first time in 6min 8 sec. (For perspective, an Olympic time is just under 2min).  The next week she ran it in 5min 33 sec.  She was so excited that she got faster. Her comment was, "I guess track really does help!"

Race day came and it was time for the 800m. It was near the end of the meet, and was only supposed to be for ages 11 and up, so we had talked about how because it was older kids and boys and girls combined, some of the kids might be really far ahead of her. She didn't care.  She still wanted to do it.

The race started, and she was, as expected, at the end by quite a bit after the first lap.  As she neared the last corner for the race, I ran down to meet her and cheer her on.  For the last straightaway, I found myself cheering for her ("Go, Catherine, Go!"), encouraging her ("You're almost there, you can do it!"), coaching her ("This is where you sprint!"), to help her make it to the finish line. I think I was almost as excited as her when she crossed the finish line.  She was elated to hear them say her time was 4min 48 sec.  Even though she was probably almost a minute behind most of the other kids, she had gotten even faster. She had worked hard and accomplished something.

I know I looked silly running alongside the bleachers and track yelling for her, but I didn't care.  I was there to be her #1 cheerleader.  It even caused some of the other parents to cheer for her (which happens with the last kid in a race a lot of times). I thought "Wow. I'm that mom being loud and almost obnoxious." But, isn't that kind of my job? Isn't it my job as a mom, not just at a track meet but in life, to run alongside my child cheering and coaching her? Not running the race for her-I can't do that-but encouraging and helping?

I also thought about how God treats us.  Isn't he our biggest cheerleader/coach? Doesn't he run alongside us cheering for us and giving us help/hints on how to succeed? I imagine the joy he must feel as he sees us work hard at something and succeed on our own.  I'd like to be "that" parent.

Feeling like a good mom

I had a moment yesterday where I felt like a good mom.  I know.  I should feel like that a lot, but to be honest, it's easier sometimes to remember the times when I feel like a bad mom. It was 60 degrees outside, but I had to run some errands.  So, I piled the kids in the car to run to the bank and stop by the library for my daughter to run in and get her book on hold.  I then made an impulsive decision to just go to a random park to play, rather than bringing everyone home to play outside our house.  I just googled on my phone to find the closest park to the library and we went and played for an hour.

It was awesome.  Everyone had fun and I wasn't worried about checking the phone or being home getting dinner ready (thank goodness for leftovers). It was just a beautiful day at the park.  I looked at all of my kids being happy and having fun and thought "Look at these happy kids.  I'm a good mom for bringing them here." A moment of positive affirmation.  I think that sometimes as moms we need more of those.  And I think that sometimes God just gives us those moments to remind us that we're doing okay. I'll take those when I can get them and try to remember them in those moments when kids are yelling at each other or me and I'm not feeling like such a great mom.

"When I grow up, I don't want to be a mom"

"When I grow up, I don't want to be a mom". My 7 year old has said this to me several times.  It always makes me a little sad.  I figured I wasn't letting her know how much I love being a mom.  Maybe I complain too much about the not so fun parts of being a mom, like changing diapers and dealing with whining children.  I think I'm extra sensitive to the comment also because when I was growing up, if you asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I would say "A mom".  The mom guilt was setting in every time my daughter made this comment.

Well, last night at dinner I finally discovered the source for the comment.  I was asking my children what they wanted to do for a job when they grew up. These answers are constantly varying from Lego designer to rockstar dressmaker.  Here was my 7 year old's response.

7 yr old: "I don't want to be a mom when I grow up."

Me: "Why not? I love being a mom.  It's the best thing ever."

7 yr old: "Does every mom have to do taxes? I don't want to do taxes."

I can now breathe a sigh of relief.  Apparently it's not that she doesn't want to be a Mom when she grows up.  She doesn't want to be a CPA and do taxes for clients like her mom does.  She thought that because her mom works from home and does taxes, that every mom has to do that.  That's it's just part of being a mom.  After much laughter, we explained to her that no, not every mom does taxes.  She can be a mom and still do something else.  I love getting rid of mommy guilt.

Overscheduled kids

I always hear stories about how kids are overscheduled these days.  Too many lessons, practices, and other activities and not enough free time to just play, and lots of time spent driving around in the car.  This week I experienced it, and hope to not experience it again.  At least not for a looong time.  As part of a plan to not overschedule my kids during the school year, I let each child choose one activity to sign up for this summer.  My 5 year old chose a city sports camp where they go for 1 hour each day for 4 days and learn a different sport each day (soccer, baseball, basketball, and football).  My girls each chose a dance camp put on by the local theater, that was 2 hours each day for 5 days with a little performance on the last day.

I thought I was being clever by having both girls sign up for the same week.  Even though one would go in the morning and the other in the afternoon, I thought it would be better to have the girls go one week, and my boy go a few weeks later.  Ugggh.  What this really meant was that 4 times a day I was driving to the theater to drop off or pick up.  While hauling 4 other children around with me.  We went at 9:30, 11:30, 12:30 and 2:30.  I hated it and my kids hated it as well.  The first day, my 5 year old started throwing a fit at the last pick up.  "I don't want to go! I hate this!"  I had to agree with him.  After that first day, I decided we weren't going to do "school" for the week or worry about practicing piano.  I wanted them to be able to have time to play. 

I still am glad my girls went to the camp.  They had a blast! And I'm still glad we chose to do one week of dance camp rather than worrying about every week taking them to a practice during the school year (and paying for it every month).  But, wow, I'm recommitted to not overscheduling my kids as they get older.  If nothing else, there's no way I want to spend that much time in the car.  I can think of much more enjoyable and productive uses of my time.

Thanks to mothers

"When I grow up, I want to be a mother, and have a family. 1 little, 2 little, 3 little babies of my own..."  When I was a little girl, this song by Janeen Brady was one of my favorite songs.  If you asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I would tell you I wanted to be a mom.  I had other things I would say I wanted to be, but always a mom.  Even in high school, I remember having a conversation with friends asking what we wanted to study in college and be "when we grew up".  I told them I wanted to be a mom.  They kept saying, "But what do you really want to be?" My answer was "a mom".  I still planned on getting a Masters degree in Accounting and probably working as a CPA, but I really wanted to be a mom. 

Time went on, I graduated with my Masters in Accounting and started working as a CPA.  By the time I was 32 or 33 and still single, I started thinking maybe I wasn't ever going to get married and have children of my own.  I remember hearing and reading talks, like this one from Sheri Dew, that helped me realize that I can still be a mother figure to others.  I was also blessed to have a wonderful Great Aunt, Aunt Gladys, who never married or had children of her own but truly is the greatest Aunt ever to all her nieces, nephews, great-nieces, and great-nephews.  I thought, "If I can't be a mother, than I can be the world's greatest aunt like Aunt Gladys".  I still had that great desire to be a mom, but figured maybe it wasn't going to happen for me.

Then I met my husband.  I fell in love with him almost immediately, we were married 6 months after we met, I was pregnant a year after we met, and less than two years after we met we had our first child.  I was a mom.  And it was hard. And wonderful.  I remember thinking, "I'm not really young anymore, maybe this is it.  One child. I have my chance to be a mom and I'm grateful for it."  Well, here I am 7 years later and the mom of 5 children.  I'm a mom.  And sometimes I'm still a little amazed by it.  I'm grateful for the chance I have to be a mom and all it teaches me.  I don't know why God chose to give me this responsibility and opportunity, but I'm thankful for it.  I have plenty of friends who have not had the opportunity to become mothers yet who I know would do an amazing job being moms.  Maybe that gives me a little more sense of the responsibility and a little more gratitude for the opportunity. 

For whatever reason, I'm now a mom.  I love it.  My children at times are loud, obnoxious and drive me crazy.  Or other times, like today at church when my 5 year old wants to climb on my lap and sing the hymns with me as I point to each word, or as my 7 year old gives me a tote she decorated herself to give to me for Mother's Day, I'm overwhelmed with the love I feel for my children.  I think of the words by Robert Louis Stevenson "Thanks to our Father, we will bring. For he gives us ev'rything."

Thanks to a loving God who has given me the opportunity and responsibility to be a mother.
Thanks to my husband who helps me be the best mom I can be and without whom I would not be a mother.
Thanks to my own mother and her amazing example of selfless service and how to be a mother.
Thanks to my sisters and their examples of motherhood shared with me even before I became a mother, and for letting me "mother" their children before I had my own children.
Thanks to my sisters-in-law for mothering children with my brothers.
Thanks to my friends at church and in my neighborhood who help to be mothers to my children and set such great examples to me.
Thanks to my friends who are not yet mothers and yet care for my children as they would their own.
Thanks to my children for allowing me to be their mother and for learning with me as we go.

To finish in the words of the song "When I grow up, if I can be a mother, how happy I will be. 4 little 5 little 6 little blessings of my own."

First time fears

I did it. I ventured out with 5 kids in tow. This was not an easy feat. I had visions of my kids running wild through the store while the baby screamed & I had a meltdown. Sometimes the fear of trying something new is worse than the thing itself. But, I had to attempt it sometime. Thank goodness for these giant carts at Target. Everyone fit, and I even fit a few items in the cart as well.  I got some odd looks, and even maintained my sense of humor as the kids chanted/sang through half the store and while checking out. First time is always the hardest. I'm not going to say I "enjoyed" it, but at least I know I can do it.

Breastfeeding Trauma

I spent the first 6 weeks of my first child's life starving her. Really.  She was born weighing 5 lbs 6 oz and within the first two weeks she had dropped to 4 lbs 12 oz. This was despite the fact that I was feeding her every hour. Literally. We're talking feeding her from 8am-8:15am, then 9am-9:15am, etc. It was an absolutely horrible experience. I'm almost 7 years away from that experience, and I still have a difficult time thinking about it.

My plan when my baby was born was to breastfeed exclusively. Every book and article I had read talked about the amazing benefits and I couldn't think of any reason why I wouldn't or couldn't. I tried. Probably about as much as I possibly could. As I mentioned earlier, I fed my baby every hour, and yet still she wasn't gaining weight and was in fact losing some weight. I went to a lactation specialist to make sure she could latch on. I tried different ways of holding the baby. I tried pumping before feeding her to get the milk going. I tried herbal tea. I tried taking fenugreek. And I prayed and cried a lot. A lot. I'm pretty sure my husband has blocked those 6 weeks out of his memory as well.  It's amazing we ever had more kids after this experience.

Everything I had ever read seemed to say that everyone can breastfeed, it's just a matter of putting in the effort. Believe me, I put in the effort. I'm not sure I can adequately describe the feelings of guilt and inadequacy. "I'm just trying to do what's best for my baby. Why is it not working?" "My sister doesn't have a problem breastfeeding, why is it so difficult for me?" "This is supposed to be a beautiful experience having a newborn and bonding. Why does it feel like hell?"

I think my 3 sisters and mom saved my sanity. I don't know if they had some kind of schedule setup, but they would each call me and check up on me and see how I was doing, listen to me cry, and give me encouragement and advice.

Finally, after 6 weeks, my doctor told me "Look, I don't care what the lactation specialists are saying, this baby needs some more nourishment. You need to supplement with some formula." I felt like a failure. But I also felt completely and utterly exhausted. I "gave in" and bought some formula and started feeding it to my baby after nursing each time. Within 2 weeks she had gained about 2 pounds. She was a different child. She was sleeping better. She was not crying all the time. I was sleeping better. I was not crying all the time. I realized that my pride and reliance on book knowledge had caused way too much suffering for 6 weeks. We eventually settled into a routine of me nursing her, followed by pumping with a rented electric pump. I did this until she was almost 9 months old.

Not everyone can breastfeed. Regardless of what the "experts" may say. Regardless of whether even your other family members are able to do it. It is a great thing for your child, and I applaud people that can do it. My body does not produce enough milk. I've never known what it means to be engorged. I barely even change bra sizes when I'm pregnant and have a baby. My mom and 2 other sisters have had this same problem. It wasn't for lack of trying.

I no longer feel any guilt over not breastfeeding my other children. I tried for 2 weeks with my second child, but had to supplement the whole time as he was another small baby (5 lbs 6 oz) and had to spend 2 days in the NICU as they tried to get him to keep food down. I think he latched on once. I decided that it was better for my sanity and mental health to just use a bottle. I knew I would have to pump also, and nursing then pumping while also trying to take care of my 22 month old toddler and a new baby was just an overwhelming thought. My husband was willing to support me with whatever I thought best, but I think he sighed a giant sigh of relief when I decided to use a bottle.

Breastfeeding can be a sensitive topic for a lot of people. There is a lot of pressure and a lot of guilt and pain associated with it.  I think it's important for new moms to understand that and to talk about how it's going with someone. Don't be afraid to say it's difficult and to ask for help. And don't be afraid to use a bottle. My children are fairly well adjusted, healthy and intelligent. Most importantly, though, I love my children and family and have done what is best for them and for me. Isn't it great that we can all be different and have different experiences as we raise our families?

Be Prompt

I have a problem with New Year's Resolutions. When I sit down to make them, I usually end up with just a giant "To do" list full of things that I wish I had time to do. Most of them don't get done during the year, and it's a little depressing to look at the list the next year and see so many things not done.

This year I decided to do something a little different.  I have one theme for the year rather than lots of little goals.  My theme for the year is "Be prompt".  I've found so many different ways to apply this in my life. Be prompt at: answering emails and phone calls, sending thank you notes, going to bed, getting to appointments/places on time, etc.

One of the main applications of this, though, has been with regards to my children. Be prompt in responding to the needs of my children. Quiet time (my work time) will be almost over and the baby will start to cry waking up from his nap.  I'll think to myself "He'll be okay for another 5 minutes while I finish this up", which frequently turns into 10 minutes. I'll have to remind myself "Be prompt. Stop being selfish and go get him out of his crib". Or, I'll be eating breakfast and trying to read the newspaper when my children all start asking for another bowl of cereal. Once again I'll have to remind myself to "Be prompt" and put the paper down for 1 minute while I refill their bowls. 

I think of the scripture in Alma 9:26 that describes God as being "quick to hear the cries of his people and to answer their prayers". If I'm striving to be as God is, than I should try to do as he would do. This includes being quick to hear the cries of my children. I've got 7 months down on working on this goal, and a whole lot of work still left.  In fact, my children should be waking up soon and I need to "be prompt" in starting the day and getting ready now.

Because She is a Mother

One of my favorite talks of all time about motherhood.  Happy Mother's Day!

Because She is a Mother by Jeffrey R. Holland

To my single friends: The selfishness of motherhood

There is a misconception sometimes in my mind and other mothers that when you become a mother, you become instantly selfless.  It is definitely true that having a baby gets rid of some of your selfishness.  You can't worry about only yourself.  There's another little one relying on you and you frequently have to put your baby's needs before yourself.  But. There's still this reserve of selfishness.  I think we frequently save it to unwittingly display on our single or childless friends.

I was thinking about this as I've had the opportunity in the last month or so to spend some time with several of my single and/or childless friends.  The truth is that not all single people are selfish and not all mothers are selfless.  I find that when I'm chatting with some of these friends, they spend a lot more time asking me about my children and life than I spend asking them about their families and lives.  It's tempting to just go on and on about your own children. It can become a very unbalanced conversation/relationship.  Thank you to my single friends with whom I can hang out and not have it be all about my life or children.  You teach me much about the importance of  a 2 sided relationship and true selflessness!

First impressions of kindergarten

First impressions of the first week of kindergarten:
1 - Sending my child off the first day was not traumatic like I expected it to be.  The 2nd day, though, it was a little weird to send my husband off to work in the morning and have my 5 year old leave with him.
2 - My child didn't seem to be traumatized at all by going to school. Actually, I expected her to be quite chatty about it all, but she was pretty nonchalant about the whole thing when I picked her up her first day.
3 - Walking with my other kids to pick up my kindergartener from school, though it sounds like a fun family activity, is overrated.  It's hot and it takes a looong time for us to walk home, even if we hadn't stopped to chat with friends.
4 - My 3 year old did okay with his big sister/playmate being gone in the morning; he actually played with his younger sister. A nice thing about having kids close in age, is there's always another one to play with.

As my kindergartener put it (after 3 days of school), "It seems like I just started kindergarten yesterday". But, we've made it through the first week.  I think I'm going to be able to handle it. My child is happy and making friends.  Now, if I can remember to go pick her up in the middle of the morning, we'll be just fine.

Post-toddlerhood depression

My baby is starting school in a few days.  Okay, so she's five and my oldest, so not really a baby. But when did she really get to be old enough to be in school and not be a toddler anymore? [Insert here songs from Fiddler on the Roof and Saturday's Warrior for effect.] Maybe it's because I have 3 even younger children that aren't old enough for school yet that I find it hard to believe one is. 

She may be excited and ready to start school but I'm not.  I fear change.  Not really, but I definitely enjoy the flexibility of my schedule the past 8 years or so.  It's one of the many reasons I'm self-employed.  I decide when and where I want to go anywhere.  School will change that.  Whether or not I want to, every day I will need to take my daughter to kindergarten at 8 am and pick her up at 10:45 am.  Every day.  In fact, I almost felt guilty telling my daughter that yes, she will go to school still when it's winter, and every day until it's May.  I wanted to warn her that she would also have to go to school every day for another 12-16 years after that.

I like having toddlers.  I guess that's my parenting specialty.  Doesn't every parent have a stage they really enjoy? For some it's the new little babies, for others it's teenagers.  For me, it's toddlers.  Maybe it's because I haven't had any older than that yet.  Some of it is because of the control.  I control my children's schedule, I control what friends they play with, what they learn, what they watch, what they hear, what language they use.  School starts, and I know I will lose a lot of that control.  I'm sending my child away to be with other people for several hours every day. 

I loved school and I have no doubt my child will enjoy it as well.  I also love my daughter, though, and I guess most of all I'll just miss her.  I have no doubt how I'll handle her leaving for college.  Thank goodness I've got another 13 years to prepare for that.

My Amazing Newborn Blog

Welcome to my amazing blog about my newborn baby.  Oh, wait.  He's 2 months old and I have posted on my blog one time since he was born. 

I had all kinds of thoughts before baby #4 was born about how I would blog about those first precious weeks of having a new baby and all the wonderful experiences I was having.  To be honest, though, it was the middle of tax season and I was just so overwhelmed and busy that none of  those posts ever happened.  By the time the baby was finally in bed (or just being held by my wonderful husband so I could work), I was furiously trying to spend an hour or two checking emails and working so that I never had time to even check other blogs, much less post my own.

So, here I am back again.  Life has calmed down, although it's still rather busy.  My newborn baby boy is now 2 months old and starting to have more of a schedule.  I guess it's time for me to have more of a schedule also and start getting things done (or maybe just blogging).

Ignoring my children

So...the other day I ignored my children for most of the day.  I still took care of their basic needs, but I spent most of the day reading a book.  I was in escapism mode, and thought it would be a nice break.  It wasn't.  I was reminded that I really do enjoy spending time with my children.  They're not going to be little like this for long where I have a chance to play with them and have them want me to spend all my time with them.  I know I still need a break every now and then, but for me, apparently, taking a whole day to read a book is not the way to do it.  I'm pretty sure I would have enjoyed the book more if I had still played with my children and read all night after they were in bed.  I'll have to remind myself of this when I'm reading another book that is hard to put down.

My selfish quiet time

We have quiet time at our house every day.  Both of my older children were done with naps before they were two years old.  So, every day after lunch we have "quiet time".  It's not always quiet unless they're watching a video (and sometimes I feel guilty if they just watch a video during quiet time), but it does mean they're supposed to play without mom. In fact, it should probably be more appropriately named "Don't bug mom time".

Frequently, I come out of quiet time and the house is a complete disaster.  I say "come out" because quiet time is when I hide myself in my office and try to work.  If they come in and I have decided quiet time is not over yet, I make them leave the office.  I've even been so stern as to shut the door so they can't come in.  Quiet time lasts for however long I decide it should last.  It's one of the benefits of my children not yet being able to tell time. The baby goes down for a nap right before quiet time starts, so usually as soon as the baby is awake, quiet time is over.

I've found I've become very selfish about my quiet time.  I get annoyed and cranky if I don't get my quiet time.  It's almost like a 2 year old who doesn't get his way. I was at the park the other day with a friend and her children, watching the kids play, and I found myself checking my watch to see what time it was.  Even though we ate lunch at the park and the kids were having a blast, I started getting anxious for my quiet time to start and nervous that the window of opportunity had passed and I wouldn't get any quiet time for the day. I'm wondering if I'll ever get to the point where I can just go to the park and just enjoy it and spend as much time as my kids want without looking at the time. 

I'm a schedule and routine kind of person, so I guess for me it's comforting to know that each day I'll have that alone time when I can spend time away from the kids and not feel like I'm neglecting them.  I guess I need to have a little more sympathy when my 2 year old has his schedule changed or when my 4 year old doesn't get to spend time doing something that just she wants to do.  Or, and I've seriously considered this, maybe I need to start getting up an hour earlier and having my quiet time before they wake up (although I have a feeling I would probably need to start going to bed earlier for that to happen).  When do you have your quiet time?

Three cheers (and prayers) for moms of big families

I've gained an even greater appreciation this week for mom's of big families.  I grew up in a family of 6 kids, but that doesn't mean I really appreciate what that meant for my mom.  My sister and her 7 kids just came and stayed with my family for a couple of days.  That means there were 10 kids in my house, with 5 of them under the age of 5.  That's just a lot of kids.

I love my sister and I've always admired what a good job she does as a mom. I've even spent a lot of time at their house.  Until now, though, I don't think I ever fully appreciated what it means to take care of 7 kids every day.  The food, the noise, the drama, the food, the coordination.  I take for granted the fact that with 3 little kids I can decide 5 minutes before lunchtime what we're going to eat for lunch that day.  There's a lot more planning involved (and money) when you have to feed more than twice that many. I have a hard time keeping track sometimes of 3 pairs of shoes, much less 7 pairs.  Granted, when you have that many kids, there are older ones who can be a great help to the younger kids: changing diapers, feeding, dressing, etc.  I admire my older nieces for helping out their mom.

This is just a big shout out to my mom, my mother-in-law, my sister, my cousins, and all my friends out there that somehow manage to care for big families.  You have my utmost respect!