Changing family dynamics

Having a child in school all day changes family dynamics quite a bit.  Our oldest is quite imaginative and is constantly thinking up new "games" for she and her younger siblings to play. She'll take charge, make up the rules, and lead the way.  "We're playing castle, and I'm the princess, you're the knight, and you're the baby. We have to run away from the dragon who's trying to eat us."  It's great to see her take charge, but she is now gone during the day. This leaves little brother in charge.

My 4 year old son, is a good follower.  Being the oldest at home during the school day, though, there's not someone else to take charge of playing. It's great to see him becoming the one who makes up the game for his younger sister to play.  Of course, having a 4 year old boy in charge leads to playing different things than when a 6 year old girl is in charge. There's a lot more building of castles going on than before rather than just chasing. But it's still fun to see him take charge.

With this change in "leadership" roles, there can be some conflicts when the oldest is not at school. Number 2 is used to being in charge, and when number 1 is home, at times there is some disagreement about what to do.  For the most part, however, they fall back into their original roles with the oldest being in charge.

I'm not sure these family dynamics change, even 40 years down the road.  When my siblings and I all get together (which is not that frequently), I see us as still falling into some of the same roles as when we were little kids. I think maybe we're better, maybe, about allowing for change, but in some ways, my oldest sister will still be in charge of what we're "playing" and the "baby" will always be the baby.