Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Who's in charge?

I keep getting asked by my 5 year old - "Are you in charge of me?"  This has many variations such as "Are you in charge of what I eat?" or "Are you in charge of what I wear?" or "Are you in charge of my stuffed animals?" Keep in mind that these are not innocently asked or deep-searching questions.  They usually follow my telling her to do something like eat her meal or get dressed or clean up.  I kept telling her, "Yes, I am in charge of that", until she started asking me questions that I had to answer with no, such as "No, I'm not in charge of what crayon color you should use".  My husband and I finally came up with a standardized answer that satisfies us, and stumps her.  We now say "No, I'm not in charge of whether you do that or not. But, I am in charge of the consequences from what you choose".  It seemed like a good way to teach agency and responsibility, and really, it just seems to have made her stop asking quite so often.

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