Claustrophobia

I'm feeling a little claustrophobic these days, and not just because I can't really go anywhere with my newborn. My 3 older children love their new baby brother. A lot.  Is it possible to say too much? They are all really good at getting his clothes, and his blanket, and his diaper, and a wipe, and a bottle, and a pacifier, etc. I really appreciate the help, but I'm kind of missing my personal space right now.  I'm pretty sure the novelty of having a baby around the house will wear off eventually, except for with my almost 2 year old, who sees him as a new favorite toy.  I'm pretty sure it's impossible for her to be in the same room with him and not be touching him.  I don't have to hold him all the time, but if I'm not it means I have to be on guard for him.  I know that I will miss having my children around all the time, but if they could give me an inch or too, it sure would be nice!

Transitions

My 3 yr old son is one of those kids who needs help with change and transition.  He can't be forced into something new, so we usually just have to let him take his time adjusting to things.  For example, when we were moving him to his own "boys" room, we took time putting the bed in first, letting him play in there for a couple of days, having him help us paint, then finally letting him sleep in there.  Actually, he didn't have a very hard time adjusting. 

Maybe I'm the one that needs help transitioning. Getting used to my kids growing up and being able to do things for themselves, transitioning my mindset to having 4 kids instead of 3, learning to live with my office in the kitchen instead of my own office, etc.  I guess some things we never outgrow and have to keep working on!

Pregnancy schizophrenia

I've hit that stage of pregnancy schizophrenia.  The stage where in alternating minutes you have the thoughts "I'm in no way prepared for this baby to come" and "Man, I hope this baby comes soon so I can get started on the next phase of life".  I'm pretty sure this is going to go back and forth until the day the baby is actually born.  At least I've finally left the stage of denial I've been in for the past 8-1/2 months of "What baby? Am I pregnant?" I've got to get prepared someday soon!

Those magic moments

You gotta love those magic moments.  The ones that make your heart kind of melt and remind you how much you love your family and how thankful you are for them.  Here are some of them for me.

-Coming into the bedroom after walking/exercising early in the morning to see all 3 kids sitting with my husband as they wake up.
-Having my 3 year old boy wrap his arms around my pregnant belly and tell me he's giving his Baby Brother a hug.
-My 5 year old saying she has a surprise for me downstairs, dreading what I'll see, and finding out she cleaned up the basement without being asked.
-Seeing my husband reading to all the kids on the couch.
-Giant spontaneous hugs from my almost 2 yr old.
-Hearing all my children laughing, yelling and playing chase together without fighting.

Those are the kind of moments that make it all worth it.  What are some of yours?

The inevitable question

So my 5 year old daughter finally asked the inevitable question of her pregnant mother.  No, she didn't ask where babies came from.  But she did look at me kind of funny after breakfast today and say "So, how does the baby get out?"  With her, my 3 year old son and my 1 year old daughter staring at me, I paused as I quickly thought of all the different ways I could answer the question.  Do I give her graphic details? Do I lie? Do I make up a story that explains what a beautiful thing childbirth is? Is there a perfect response to this question?

I settled with telling her that some people have their stomachs cut open for the baby to come out, with medicine given to them so it doesn't hurt and they can't feel it.  I told her girls have a place near where they pee where the baby comes out. It's kind of like when you poop.  They thought it was hilarious to think you kind of poop out a baby.  When they're a little bit older, I'm sure I can have a proper discussion with them about how babies are born, but for now, I think they really just wanted to know in basics.  It caught me off guard.  Hopefully I haven't scarred their views of childbirth and their proper scientific learning for life!

Breaking Point

Do you ever reach your breaking point with your children?  Actually, a more appropriate question would be: how often do you reach it?  I remember being single and seeing a parent yell at their child in the grocery store and thinking, "How can they do that? The kid looks like he's maybe only 3 years old". That, of course, was before I had my own children. 

I remember reaching my breaking point with my first child when she was just a baby and thinking there was something horribly wrong with me that I could feel so angry at a baby who didn't know any better than to continually scream.  I've learned that there's nothing wrong with me - I'm just a normal tired parent. 

I guess the key is to learn to recognize when you're reaching your breaking point before you get there and learn what helps you to not step over that line of feeling vs. acting.  I've learned to say to my husband, "I can not go into the kids' room anymore right now or I'm going to start yelling and throwing things." Then I can just lay down on the bed with the door closed, trying to shut out the crying while I cry and pray and cry and pray some more.  I understand why parents can sometimes do the horrible things they do.  If you have enough stress, tiredness and pressure, and no support system to help you out, I can see how a parent can cross that line.  I consider myself extremely blessed to have a great husband and a great support system to help me out.  I'm also thankful to know I am not alone in having those moments.  I've talked to a mom who was on the phone while shut in her closet. I guess we all need our own "safe" place to go when we're reaching our limit.

(By the way, don't worry - I'm not at a breaking point right now.  If I was, there's no way I'd have the clarity of mind to sit and blog about it.)

Bending the Rules

So, we've had a rule of no bike riding in the house.  You know, one of those rules you would never think of having until you have children and realize the number of things you need to specify.  For Christmas, Santa brought our 5 year old a scooter and our 3 year old a 12" bike.  There has been snow on the ground and the weather has been freezing cold - not ideal conditions for riding bikes and scooters.  I never considered our house that large, but apparently our long hallway and kitchen covered with linoleum are ideal conditions for bike and scooter riding.  So we are bending the rules in celebration of Christmas.  Every day, several times a day, they ride up and down the hallway.  I'm sure it's not ideal treatment for my floors, but if it keeps my kids happy and burns off some of the extra energy they have from candy and not enough time spent outdoors, I'm happy to bend the rules. Let's just hope come summer they don't still want to ride indoors.